We know what it feels like when we're "off the map" of who and where we want to be ...and so do our kids. They know when we feel weak, uncertain, scared, and exhausted by the immense tasks and pressures of what we're facing. From our perspective, it's yucky ...from theirs, it can be very frighting. When we feel overwhelm, it ripples and becomes a burden on them too. When we feel like life is "too much" and that we're incapable of "DOing it", they learn that life is just simply too hard...and that doesn't grow healthy, capable people in our culture. That grows victims of circumstance, anger, resentment, sadness, and apathy because "it's too much" to deal with.

THERE IS HOPE to do it differently. I've watched it happen many times over.

     When we mother from the best version/ vision of ourselves because we've identified WHO and where that is, we teach our kids to become THEIR best versions of who they are. It even gives the people in our sphere of influence encouragement, perspective, and honestly, it also gives them permission to become healthier, higher functioning expressions of THEIR potential.

     WE CAN show up with healthy perspective. We can participate with necessary changes and we do experience the fruits of our labor in due time. Just like having a baby; there is process, there is progress, there is help and there is reward. 

     There is still time to join next OptiMOM Coaching FREE call THIS Thursday, March 31 at 8:30PM EST. Register below and please share with the mommies "in your world" so you experience greater health & well being in your community...and your kids grow with up other kids who are also given role models to be their optimal expressions of themselves..

THERE IS HOPE to do it differently. I've watched it happen many times over.

     When we mother from the best version of ourselves, we teach our kids to become THEIR best versions of who they are. It gives the people in our sphere of influence encouragement, perspective, and even permission to ALSO become healthier, higher functioning expressions of THEIR potential.

     WE CAN show up with healthy perspective. We can participate with necessary changes and we do experience the fruits of our labor in due time. Just like having a baby; there is process, there is progress, there is help and there is reward. 

     There is still time to join next OptiMOM Coaching FREE call THIS Thursday, March 31 at 8:30PM EST. Register below and please share with the mommies "in your world" so you experience greater health & well being in your community...and your kids grow with up other kids who are also given role models to be their optimal expressions of themselves..

I was probably just 13 when the therapist told my mother that my behavior was directed to her largely because I believed she would still "love me" even if I acted like an ass. She clung to that as I rebelled and rejected her. She clung to that as I went on my way and was released to make choices outside of her plans for me, her hopes and desires for my life. As a teenager, I went so far off the trajectory she worked hard to create for me.

I came back. I never once doubted that she loved me...I don't imagine I ever will. 

In my own motherhood, I've held tight to "he trusts my love the most" when my own seemingly "rejects me" and what I extend. It's not me, it's not personal.

Rather, like me, some of them need to fly a bit further from the nest...and hopefully, like I experienced, they'll trust it's still there.

Edits are a normal part of a mother's day. While some needs and demands are known in advance, there are always the "surprises" that call us to respond and detour. The tricky part is to do the detour dance gracefully. For instance, I had planned to write this last week while kids were in school...and for a variety of reasons, they took turns NOT being in school. I crossed off the "appointment" I had made with myself last week and moved it to yesterday. Yesterday, a Monday, the "plan" was that 3 of my kids would be at school...and yet...a detour. Instead of making the appointment I had with my computer, I had 2 kids at the doctor. One with pink eye and the other to confirm his ankle wasn't broken. Detours.

Even as I write, the 15 year old came to me to announce symptoms of what I suspect will be diagnosed as strep. A detour we took 2 weeks ago with his younger brother....and from what I hear, many families at the school they attend are also taking this same detour. Isn't it fascinating how Life provides the opportunities to "practice" what we preach / teach...sometimes subtly, other times, with bold and loud reminders. What had I JUST written about being graceful? I'm reminding myself that I'm open to edits and that I'm CHOOSING what to participate with and WHEN. 

There are times when the appointments, errands, tasks, and plans get edited because of opportunities to play, to linger longer with a neighbor, to add a favorite client to the afternoon, or to choose a meal that requires more time than originally planned. These detours I tend to have more Grace for. Long lines, traffic, flat tires or strep, it doesn't come as easily. 

Like you, I'm busy. For me to maintain a level of efficiency, I've found that when my day ends it's helpful for me to reflect on what was and wasn't done, Rather than seeing the undone as a negative, I cross those things off the list too, While it feels good to have a sense of what was, in fact accomplished, it's helpful for me to have a sense of what's left. I don't beat myself (or anyone else) up, but rather, I take a moment to hold it up to my life, to decide if it fits. If it does, WHERE and WHEN does it fit? I take a moment to move it there. It doesn't serve me to have it still on "today's" list if today is over, right? Sometimes, I decide that a task isn't important enough to get my energy and attention...or maybe it's not even MY task to be doing. Often, I have to return to accepting and participating in the seasons we're in. Some tasks are trickier in certain seasons than others. I'm keeping the appointment I made with myself to write today. Next, I'll make the appointment for the strep test...and make it to the dentist w/ a few kids later this afternoon.

At the end of the day, I'll do my review and cross it all off today's list. I'm interested to see how it unfolds. I know there will be Grace enough and that I'll have the opportunity to choose it.