It took the 5th kid before I really, truly, always embraced a baby in the moonlight with love. My 1st and 5th are 23 years apart so it's not like the radical growth that sometimes occurs when babies are back to back to back...yet the breaking happens and our Source (Father God, Jesus, Spirit, Mother Nature - whatever you name the Source that you have relationship with) shows up to offer us sustainable wisdom that equips for days ahead. Sometimes it takes a long while and repetition for us to recognize the Voice, the still small whisper that encourages us and feeds us when we're empty.
We must embrace them early...because when they are teenagers, we can't...they rarely let us.
...and certainly not when they are 35 ... yet I see that child's pain still and desperately want to "make it better" ... and can't. It is so much harder than when he was little... and I scoop him up to rock, sooth, sing to, etc.
Please hold them, the babies...please when you wake and find yourself at the brink, seek your God... see Goodness ...with you at this moment...be blessed in KNOWING that you are NOT alone...your Source is near, with you...that the veil is thin and that your work, as a mother, is as true and as holy as the angels. Our children MUST see us seek ...they MUST see us be renewed in our lack...see our God within shine when we can't. For me, the "flesh died" most often in the nights.
The work you are depositing yourself into is Holy work...you are moving on Holy ground...especially in the night when it's dark...you are Light.
You are (partly) writing the programming of the brains for your babies...write their safety, write their connection, write their KNOWING a safe and stable presence.
My prayer is that YOUR safety, connection, and experience is able to shine through because of a KNOWING deep in you that you have come to experienced the presence of your God...and so have your children.
My God is my sustenance... my Source, leading when I can't...and when I am humble, surrendered enough to get out my own way, my leader when I "can"...
When I woke one morning with a 2 and 18 -year old, both telling me they were capable of independent life. Appropriate to their ages - "I'll do it" ...and me knowing neither were quite able, yet needed to try. In actuality, it sounded more like "I'm a grown-ass man" and "Me DO it". I knew they'd fall before they flew...they would have to. Like we all do.
I fell. Again. Knees...face plant...for me, it was at the cross..."help" ... "how do I do this protection and equipping??" Knees...on my face...still...still...again, again, again, repeat, repeat, repeat.
May we all "program them" well...at least as well as we can.
May we HONOR the Innate wisdom within (us and them) that is wired to survive, thrive, and let be a model of the Highest Expression of our Life. I believe our God (whatever name you want to fill in) fills in the gaps where we fall short...and I promise you, we (I) fall short...they don't get all they need from me. They can't. I'm not God. They each have a God, it's not me.
We, like the babies, are changed by the experience. Yes, sleep deprivation costs...NO DOUBT...yet so does dis-connect to our mothers...
Watching the percentage of our population suffering with anxiety and depression increase only heightens my commitment to restoring the connection to Love and safety. Returning "home" to the love that, above all love, holds us...and holds our babies.
For me, I prayed a double portion of repair and renewal with every moment of sleep I was gifted and my decade-plus of interrupted sleep was a significant challenge that turned blissful. My God showed up in the night...He still does. I trust Him more confidently than ever partly because of all those nights I tended to children. I trust Him with my daughter and her babies...and I still pray for supernatural renewal...for them, for you.
Thank you for tending to your babies, your BLESSINGS, new Life allowed to your care.
Please be well,
Lisa
PS - As I write, my 12 YO (baby) is watching silly shows with a friend...at 1: AM...and I'm up nearby to "see them"...not overwhelmed by it but better equipped to see bc I embraced the nights before. .... Lord, come near.
We must embrace them early...because when they are teenagers, we can't...they rarely let us.
...and certainly not when they are 35 ... yet I see that child's pain still and desperately want to "make it better" ... and can't. It is so much harder than when he was little... and I scoop him up to rock, sooth, sing to, etc.
Please hold them, the babies...please when you wake and find yourself at the brink, seek your God... see Goodness ...with you at this moment...be blessed in KNOWING that you are NOT alone...your Source is near, with you...that the veil is thin and that your work, as a mother, is as true and as holy as the angels. Our children MUST see us seek ...they MUST see us be renewed in our lack...see our God within shine when we can't. For me, the "flesh died" most often in the nights.
The work you are depositing yourself into is Holy work...you are moving on Holy ground...especially in the night when it's dark...you are Light.
You are (partly) writing the programming of the brains for your babies...write their safety, write their connection, write their KNOWING a safe and stable presence.
My prayer is that YOUR safety, connection, and experience is able to shine through because of a KNOWING deep in you that you have come to experienced the presence of your God...and so have your children.
My God is my sustenance... my Source, leading when I can't...and when I am humble, surrendered enough to get out my own way, my leader when I "can"...
When I woke one morning with a 2 and 18 -year old, both telling me they were capable of independent life. Appropriate to their ages - "I'll do it" ...and me knowing neither were quite able, yet needed to try. In actuality, it sounded more like "I'm a grown-ass man" and "Me DO it". I knew they'd fall before they flew...they would have to. Like we all do.
I fell. Again. Knees...face plant...for me, it was at the cross..."help" ... "how do I do this protection and equipping??" Knees...on my face...still...still...again, again, again, repeat, repeat, repeat.
May we all "program them" well...at least as well as we can.
May we HONOR the Innate wisdom within (us and them) that is wired to survive, thrive, and let be a model of the Highest Expression of our Life. I believe our God (whatever name you want to fill in) fills in the gaps where we fall short...and I promise you, we (I) fall short...they don't get all they need from me. They can't. I'm not God. They each have a God, it's not me.
We, like the babies, are changed by the experience. Yes, sleep deprivation costs...NO DOUBT...yet so does dis-connect to our mothers...
Watching the percentage of our population suffering with anxiety and depression increase only heightens my commitment to restoring the connection to Love and safety. Returning "home" to the love that, above all love, holds us...and holds our babies.
For me, I prayed a double portion of repair and renewal with every moment of sleep I was gifted and my decade-plus of interrupted sleep was a significant challenge that turned blissful. My God showed up in the night...He still does. I trust Him more confidently than ever partly because of all those nights I tended to children. I trust Him with my daughter and her babies...and I still pray for supernatural renewal...for them, for you.
Thank you for tending to your babies, your BLESSINGS, new Life allowed to your care.
Please be well,
Lisa
PS - As I write, my 12 YO (baby) is watching silly shows with a friend...at 1: AM...and I'm up nearby to "see them"...not overwhelmed by it but better equipped to see bc I embraced the nights before. .... Lord, come near.
