This constant experience of expanding and contracting, resetting and starting again, is an analogy I learned by witnessing birth. When talking with expecting moms and speaking of Birth with ease and trust, I know this is a gift that was given to me by my mother. I have often said "I grew up watching birth videos" with my mom...therefor, natural, vaginal birth was normalized.

Please do not misunderstand, there is a time and place for intervention and having qualified support to help recognize that time is a great fortune we have in this "modern medical" world. I am just saying this HARD thing where we bring Life into the world, isn't to be feared - in fact, fear complicates it and changes the experience of it so dramatically.
​
When we moved to Atlanta (1979) for her to attend the CNM program at Emory University, her new friendships were formed with classmates and colleagues. Rather than find a sitter, my brother and I were often drug along to her "grown up parties" where she and her friends would share a meal, glass of wine, and watch birth videos...after all, that was the world they were immersing themselves in.   

Later, I watched my mother birth my siblings (at home) and I had my own (5) children. I have tried to lean into the HARD parts that come with raising kids with the same awareness that there are contractions that are SUPER uncomfortable and there are respites between. 

One of my labors seemed like one LONG contraction, no breaks...and yet, pregnancy did end.  New Life is expressing itself outside of my body; still giving me (different sorts of) contractions mind you. (she's 14)
: )

Life has it's HARD moments...and beautiful ones.  The most recent Int'l Day of Women (March 8) marked 5 years since my mom left her body. And today is my birthday. Where her 1st pregnancy ended 50+ years ago...and my Life began expressing outside of her. 

Leaving me to accept and practice that grief and loss aren't to be feared; they are also part of the Life experience. ​ In a recent  article describing behaviors of emotionally healthy people, I found the helpful reminder about finding meaning in loss and trauma: 

"One of the main factors that distinguishes those who thrive emotionally after experiencing loss or trauma from those who do not is their ability to eventually find meaning in their experiences and to derive purpose from them. Of course, doing so takes time, as does the process of grieving and adapting to new realities.

However, adopting the habit of searching for ways to recognize not just what you've lost, but what you’ve gained as well, will allow you to develop a new appreciation for your life and the people in it, to make important changes, and to find value, meaning, and purpose even if you lacked them before."

As I move through this ongoing process of living my healthiest and happiest Life without my Mom in her body and baking myself a spice cake for my birthday, I find so much meaning in the life she lived, the lessons she passed on, and the MANY ways she is woven into my daily Life still. 

When you find yourself in the contractions, the HARD parts that are birthing something new, please remember to breath through it, trust it, and participate even. It changes how we experience the process and postures us to receive the gifts (even the losses) with more ease and grace.

​Onward.

One of my favorite ways to show my love for my family is to feed them. I have always found the kitchen a creative outlet. Of course there are days that I'm less inSpired, but given time, energy and resources, I generally have fun pulling together a meal that pleases the senses and satisfies a belly. Days that I'm less inspired, I assess options from what's in the kitchen and Google recipes...I tend to be inspired by a recipe more than follow it so just seeing potentials will get me moving toward the end results. (very much my "coach approach", right?)

Any given day or meal at our house might feed 3 or 14 these days. Teens have friends that gather here, we have a live in parent, adult children with children that come regularly, and our own siblings are nearby too. We don't need a holiday or celebration to feed many. Six live in the house, adult kid with kids adds 5...add an aunt, her fella, and a teenage friend and we're there. 

It's a good thing I like it, right?!?

For Valentines weekend breakfast, it was heart shaped biscuits and all the fixins (we live in GA, y'all) for 9 of us.

When Mother's Day comes around, I help moms find gratitude for BEING a mom (vs. the regularly experienced resent for not being appreciated) and for Valentines, I hope to bring the same...not how are we loved, but how do we love well?

What is a way you gift your love to others? I hope you connect to that space ...because it feeds you too.

YOU are loved. 
By me.

Thank you for taking time to read my musings and for showing up to Love well in this world.
​Happy Valentines Day.

Starting your own business allows you to escape the constraints of a traditional nine-to-five job and enjoy added flexibility in terms of your location and schedule. This can be especially valuable for parents, giving them the opportunities they need to spend more quality time with their children. If you're preparing to start a business and also have a baby on the way, you have a lot to prepare.
 
OptiMom Coaching provides the resources and support you need to proceed with confidence. Read on for a quick-start guide for entrepreneurial moms.
 
Strategically plan your business in advance
 
A successful business requires detailed planning. Research your prospective product and service offering beforehand to ensure strong demand. Then, sketch out the details of your company in a business plan. The City of Atlanta in Georgia provides tools to help you draft this document. In addition to offering a practical guideline to how your business is run, you can use a business plan to secure funding to get the money you need for startup expenses.
 
Create a comfortable space that meets your professional and personal needs
 
A home-based business is an ideal pick for a new parent, allowing you to spend time at home caring for your child while still working. Set up the ideal space to accommodate your baby and your business by creating a combination nursery and office space. If your current home is too small to accommodate your growing family, consider upgrading. You can find Atlanta rentals on Rent.com, filtering to find options that meet your needs.
 
Set up the administrative elements of your business before the baby arrives
 
Formally registering your business as an official legal entity with your state offers many advantages, from streamlining tax filing to protecting your personal liability. State regulations for business formation vary, so check your area's legislation before proceeding. In Georgia, you'll need to file the Articles of Incorporation. A business formation service like ZenBusiness makes it easy and spares you the expense of a pricey attorney.
 
Stock up on the gear you'll need to care for a baby while running a business
 
Get the gear you'll need for your baby and your business before your little one arrives. For your home office, you'll need a desk, chair, computer, and printer. For your baby, this list of must-have items covers the basics, from nursing goods to clothing. You'll also want some comfortable clothes that you can wear while working and caring for your infant. Kindred Bravely provides a range of options, from cozy leggings to nursing bras.
 
Tap into a support network to connect with entrepreneurs like yourself
 
Juggling parenthood and entrepreneurship can be daunting. Get the emotional and practical support you need through local networks. There are many groups available for new parents to compare resources and notes. You can also find networks specifically for entrepreneurs, like the Georgia Microenterprise Network. This is also a great way to make valuable connections in your field.
 
Tap into technology to simplify your business and private lives
 
Technology can make life easier for entrepreneurs in many ways. Popular tools range from Trello for project management to Canva for content creation. Modern gadgets can also be handy for parents. For instance, a smart assistant can be used to do mundane tasks like turning the lights on, checking the weather, and playing music. When you have your hands full with a baby, this is a big convenience.
 
Starting a business when you have a baby on the way requires attention to many details. The tips above can help guide you through the process, ensuring a successful start to parenthood and entrepreneurship.
 
Want more inspiring content for parents? Check out the OptiMom Coaching blog.

My hope is that your season is sprinkled with indicators the Life you desire has begun to take form. 

Please notice what's working well and how it lines up with what you want. If there is a gap and you need support to cross that divide, please reach out. Through the end of the 2021, use coupon code 2021GIFT to save 25% on coaching sessions. 

Without you, I couldn't continue to do this work. THANK YOU for choosing to support YOUR health and well-being. Healthier momma's, healthier humanity!
​Onward!

Consider watching a second time and pausing to think about and answer some of the questions being asked. 
​Happy Holidays!

As a client and I recently navigated her "world", she noticed an "area" that needs some weeding and cleaning up; an area that has shame and guilt, resent and regret. In her session summary (written and emailed the day following a session), I captured the following story from my own "area" that needed some tending to.
 
Once upon a time, about 25 years ago, I was given a “personal excellence check list” from a coach to grow professionally. One aspect of the check list was to clean up regrets and resents. I waited to create and tackle that part of the assignment until I knew I had some time to recover from what I knew would be a painful experience.
 
Gratefully, I had a therapist at the time because after I compiled my list, I could barely walk and had kids coming home from school, practice to get to, dinner to make, etc. I called my therapist, and he guided me through a meditation that found a safe place to house the list until I had margin to revisit it again.
 
My safe place (in my imagination) was a forest like the Hundred Acre Wood from Winnie the Pooh. In the meditation, I found a hollow tree that I could place the list in and knew it wouldn’t be discovered by others. After we hung up, I put the list away in a secure and private space to come back to later. Over months, I revisited the list many times…cutting the pages into slips of paper to be addressed individually. That helped shrink the enormity of seeing and feeling it all together.
 
As I spent time with what I called my “shit list”, I sorted the slips of paper. Sometimes by era of my life, sometimes by people, area of pain, etc. I sat with the crap that had been thrown into that "area" of my self-map. I made amends with people I had hurt (unless I couldn't or it was healthiest not to connect), but either way, I received forgiveness. I forgave.

I let Grace and hope replace pain.
 
When I would choose to revisit the paperclipped bundle of paper, I would go through them and notice if there was still a “charge”, an emotional hook still “in me”. I would select the one that needed tending and take a step toward healing. Maybe that was writing a story about it, drawing a picture, saying a prayer or allowing the event to be spoken about to my therapist or safe person.
 
Little by little the slips of paper were thrown away or burned because they had lost their “charge”. They were dead and could be pulled from “my world” and simply be a part of the story, the history of what was once upon a time.
 
I’m NOT suggesting you go through this exercise; I am offering an idea of how you may decide to clean up a similar area in your "world" one day. 

Without the clean up, there were resources being used to keep those past parts "alive"; like weeds taking the water and nutrients from your garden that you're trying to grow healthy food in. Mind though, there is value in the shit list, as manure is a key ingredient for bearing good fruit.
 
In a story that Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes tells, there is a very sly Mr. Fox who leads a young woman to a “room of the dead” and this is, as she unpacks and offers insight to, a place we all have in us: what was and isn’t anymore.

We can give thanks for what was and trust that it serves our lives in some way. As it's cleaned up, mixed in as healthy fertilizer, it can actually give energy to healthy growth instead of taking from or remaining toxic parts of our lives.
​
Onward....to tend what is growing in and for us now.

My Momma would say it picks up speed...time, that is. It seems to go by faster and faster, doesn't it? My husband I spoke about it in the early waking hours recently and agreed that the percentage of time lived has a great deal to do with the perception of how "fast" time passes. 

There is the variable of Chronos vs Kairos (time in a linear measure vs time in an expansive, connected field - ISH...like "loosing track of time", living in a way that we can Trust timing...and fruition) We can't force the blossoms, the tides, the seasons, but we know the timing is right. 

Settling into what is good and right with the moments we're in will help posture our sense of safety in the now, THE space that we can participate in. We can't go back and do yesterday again, nor act out next weeks missions...we CAN be present to engage most fully with the people and tasks at hand. I notice that when I'm tuned into what is True in my moments, I can more easily adapt and engage. If I'm fearful or worried about the future, that interferes with my ability to best access my higher thinking brain and integrate the information as it presents. 

When we feel threatened, stressed or overwhelmed by "too much", our fight, flight, freeze response can triggered. If we are truly threatened, this is completely appropriate to slow digestion and cell repair to move the energy to our legs to run away from the beast that would eat us, but that response isn't helpful for many of the perceived threats we're experiencing in our world today. Today, we need our Higher and creative thinking to be engaged. Our health depends on cell repair, healthy digestion and elimination (and more). Solutions to the mysteries of the day will not come from reactions to fear. We need healthy responses moving us forward toward desired change.

How are you in this moment? Pause. Notice. Would it be wise to get a glass of water or two? An apple? Have a walk and connect with a friend or listen to something positive and inspirational...or to the birds? Or maybe the need is to mark that task off the list so that the needle keeps moving toward completion of a commitment you've made. Maybe a one minute meditation to reset then notice? 

Exercising our adaptability muscles can only improve our health and happiness. We need the firmness to withstand the storms our lives are enduring, but also the tenderness and flexibility to bend.  Yes, much work lies ahead and large issues loom, begging for our attention and energy. Our responsibility is to know when, how and what is ours to participate in...and remembering that the moment at hand is the only space we have to do that. 

We can only be in the moment we're in...that's the only space and place we can connect fully. What do you need? Notice. Please.

​

Sometimes the things that irritate us most come right up in our faces and we must CHOOSE how we're going to respond. The instinctual behaviors to bark loudly, jump on the furniture and knock the plants down can be costly. Sometimes we have to be still and face it. Sometimes, we can look with curiosity and see that it's actually not that bad.