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Still Not a Saint...

3/8/2023

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She's as close I have been to one...and on this celebration of women (International Day of Women), I also celebrate my Mom, her transition (6 years ago today...very appropriate day for her to make the move) to support us "on the other side of the veil"...please be touched, PLEASE know that you are valued, friend. Your Life matters...hers, yours, mine, theirs, all...onward.

To revisit: 
https://www.optimomcoaching.com/blog/im-not-a-saint​

You are IMPORTANT and will never know how much so...the ripple of your impact is beyond your awareness. 
Momma, take a breathe. Rest for 60 seconds. Rest easy...Life preceded. Life FOLLOWS...it's NOT ALL ON YOU. 

You are a vital part. DO / BE your part well...and trust that influence of well-being to spread. 

I'm here to help you stay that course...onward, sister. 

Be well,
​Lisa

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One step at a Time...

1/9/2023

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Phew...2022 is behind us and I'm coming up for air.

For me, in 2022, in addition to working with my coaching clients, I continued to navigate the Atlanta Natural Health Clinic's future while also finally embracing the immanent end that was more and more clearly coming. Details of that story can be understood best HERE. 

After the season of care-giving for my step-dad and his passing last November, I have just paused...moving through the necessary processes, but without the urgency that I experienced for SO long. Giving space to hold a lighter client load, take a few extra days to send the session summaries, schedule with support for my own well-being now that his schedule isn't consuming mine. 

Having become a Mom at 15, I recently realized that this is the first time in my entire adult Life that the only person I am in charge of keeping alive is ME...and taking one step at a time to restore some normalcy and Peace after a rough season is the only way I can and will move forward. 

Mind you, I do still have a kid at home. She's learning to drive though...she doesn't "need me" in the same ways. I still have a college student and 3 adult kids who I am GRATEFUL to be in relationship with. I have grandchildren and still change the occasional diaper, play the round of Candyland, load up and unload kids in car seats, attend parent / teacher things, etc. 

In a client session, just this morning, I reminded a client after she said "I know I need to take care of me because I wouldn't be able to take care of everyone else" and I reframed the statement to be "I know I need to take care of me because I am responsible for my body and my Life"...it isn't for others, it's because YOU ARE WORTH TAKING CARE OF. Period.

What is one step in your Self Care you can take today? Is it a cup of tea and quiet moments? Is it to connect with someone who cares? After Philip passed, I created a menu for myself...what might be on your menu?  If you need help figuring that out, you're not alone and I'd be honored to "walk with" for a leg of your journey to your healthiest and happiest Self. 

​

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Being born again and again and again

3/12/2022

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This constant experience of expanding and contracting, resetting and starting again, is an analogy I learned by witnessing birth. When talking with expecting moms and speaking of Birth with ease and trust, I know this is a gift that was given to me by my mother. I have often said "I grew up watching birth videos" with my mom...therefor, natural, vaginal birth was normalized.

Please do not misunderstand, there is a time and place for intervention and having qualified support to help recognize that time is a great fortune we have in this "modern medical" world. I am just saying this HARD thing where we bring Life into the world, isn't to be feared - in fact, fear complicates it and changes the experience of it so dramatically.
​
When we moved to Atlanta (1979) for her to attend the CNM program at Emory University, her new friendships were formed with classmates and colleagues. Rather than find a sitter, my brother and I were often drug along to her "grown up parties" where she and her friends would share a meal, glass of wine, and watch birth videos...after all, that was the world they were immersing themselves in.   

Later, I watched my mother birth my siblings (at home) and I had my own (5) children. I have tried to lean into the HARD parts that come with raising kids with the same awareness that there are contractions that are SUPER uncomfortable and there are respites between. 

One of my labors seemed like one LONG contraction, no breaks...and yet, pregnancy did end.  New Life is expressing itself outside of my body; still giving me (different sorts of) contractions mind you. (she's 14)
: )

Life has it's HARD moments...and beautiful ones.  The most recent Int'l Day of Women (March 8) marked 5 years since my mom left her body. And today is my birthday. Where her 1st pregnancy ended 50+ years ago...and my Life began expressing outside of her. 

Leaving me to accept and practice that grief and loss aren't to be feared; they are also part of the Life experience. ​ In a recent  article describing behaviors of emotionally healthy people, I found the helpful reminder about finding meaning in loss and trauma: 

"One of the main factors that distinguishes those who thrive emotionally after experiencing loss or trauma from those who do not is their ability to eventually find meaning in their experiences and to derive purpose from them. Of course, doing so takes time, as does the process of grieving and adapting to new realities.

However, adopting the habit of searching for ways to recognize not just what you've lost, but what you’ve gained as well, will allow you to develop a new appreciation for your life and the people in it, to make important changes, and to find value, meaning, and purpose even if you lacked them before."

As I move through this ongoing process of living my healthiest and happiest Life without my Mom in her body and baking myself a spice cake for my birthday, I find so much meaning in the life she lived, the lessons she passed on, and the MANY ways she is woven into my daily Life still. 

When you find yourself in the contractions, the HARD parts that are birthing something new, please remember to breath through it, trust it, and participate even. It changes how we experience the process and postures us to receive the gifts (even the losses) with more ease and grace.

​Onward.

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Mom and I watching birth videos with her Emory people. I'm in the pink shirt, front row. My beautiful mom is to the right in the vest.
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My Joy

2/14/2022

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One of my favorite ways to show my love for my family is to feed them. I have always found the kitchen a creative outlet. Of course there are days that I'm less inSpired, but given time, energy and resources, I generally have fun pulling together a meal that pleases the senses and satisfies a belly. Days that I'm less inspired, I assess options from what's in the kitchen and Google recipes...I tend to be inspired by a recipe more than follow it so just seeing potentials will get me moving toward the end results. (very much my "coach approach", right?)

Any given day or meal at our house might feed 3 or 14 these days. Teens have friends that gather here, we have a live in parent, adult children with children that come regularly, and our own siblings are nearby too. We don't need a holiday or celebration to feed many. Six live in the house, adult kid with kids adds 5...add an aunt, her fella, and a teenage friend and we're there. 

It's a good thing I like it, right?!?

For Valentines weekend breakfast, it was heart shaped biscuits and all the fixins (we live in GA, y'all) for 9 of us.

When Mother's Day comes around, I help moms find gratitude for BEING a mom (vs. the regularly experienced resent for not being appreciated) and for Valentines, I hope to bring the same...not how are we loved, but how do we love well?

What is a way you gift your love to others? I hope you connect to that space ...because it feeds you too.

YOU are loved. 
By me.

Thank you for taking time to read my musings and for showing up to Love well in this world.
​Happy Valentines Day.

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guest Submission from Hanni Berger, JOYVIAL.com

2/8/2022

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​5 Ways To Practice Self Love

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Valentine’s Day brings up different emotions for different people depending if you are in a relationship or not and if you feel happy or lonely. But regardless of your relationship status, let’s talk about the most important relationship in your life, the one with yourself.

Are you as attentive to yourself as you would be to the love of your life? We make an effort to spend quality time with the ones we love, we listen to their needs and go out of our way to do things that bring them JOY. Do you feel you do the same for yourself?

In this blog, I will share why self-love must be your top priority and give you a few ideas on what you can do to show yourself that kind of care in your daily life.

Why you must start with yourself?

When traveling by air, I’m sure you’ve heard the flight attendant instructing us to ‘put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others’. Why is that? It’s logical in that instance, that without you getting oxygen to your brain, you’ll faint and therefore won’t be able to help anyone else around you. Can you see how this applies to your life in general?

If you are too focused on everyone around you (i.e., putting on oxygen masks for everyone else) but forgetting to take care of yourself, you’ll ultimately run out of air. You will be emotionally drained. You’ll find you are far less productive at work, and much more likely to snap at your kids or spouse when something goes wrong. Said another way:

In order for you to be at your best self, you have to start by taking care of yourself first.

What’s holding you back?
The one and only reason why it’s so hard for us to love ourselves is because we often believe that prioritizing our own needs, even if it’s just for an hour here and there, is selfish. The time we take for ourselves may mean that we don't take that time to do something for others, leading you to worry about others not caring as much about you anymore.

Our subconscious programs make us do anything to make others happy and therefore feel their love, even if your conscious mind knows that it’s unhealthy.

For example, do you feel sad when your teenage daughter can’t say good morning to you and walks around grumpily? You just want to do something for her so she smiles again.

Would you feel guilty asking your friends to push back your dinner plans by an hour so you can make it to your favorite yoga class? No matter what situations create anxiety in your life, it always boils down to us wanting to feel loved. That desire to be valued by others often exceeds our desire to do something good for ourselves.

But don’t allow those voices in your head to stop you from loving yourself. Here are a few easy ways for you to learn to love yourself better.

How to love yourself

Each of us has different ways to practice self-care but in general there are a few guiding principles you can apply to set yourself up for success.

1. Understand your needs – first you want to know what gives you oxygen. For me, getting hugs from close friends and family fills my oxygen tank.


Self-love, for me, also means moving my body a few times a week knowing that I’ll feel better afterwards. Also spending a little extra money on organic, nutritious produce falls into that self-love category for me. So, think about it. What do you need to feel rejuvenated?

2. Use kind speech for yourself – We have on average 60,000 thoughts per day with 80% of those being negative. The voice in your head tells you that you aren’t good enough seeing all the moments where you seem to fall short vs. focusing on those when you succeed. Health coach Lisa recommends that you listen to your mental chatter for a moment and ask yourself if you would ever talk to your best friend the way you are talking to yourself.

For example, when I messed something up, I used to tell myself that I was an idiot or dumb. I realize this language wasn’t supportive of me. So, when you are hard on yourself ask yourself what your best friend would say to you in that moment and rephrase your own hurtful words into words that are supportive and kind.

3. Practice self-compassion – There are many ways you can feel compassion for yourself. One is in the way you talk to yourself as shared above, but another is about small gestures that you know will nourish your soul.

When JOYVIAL health coach Liani feels stressed, she likes to put her right hand on her heart. She feels when she does that, she connects with her life source and it brings her back to the present moment, where peace is found.

I give myself hugs. Yes, you read that right. I take my right hand and wrap it around my left shoulder and take my left hand and wrap it around the right shoulder and then squeeze. This may look silly (I don’t actually do this in front of people) but it feels so nurturing for me.

What small gestures can you do to calm yourself down; like you would a child?

4. Keep your promises to yourself – Did you make commitments to yourself that you will ‘go to bed earlier,’ or ‘eat more nutritious foods’ or ‘try out this new yoga class’ but somehow you haven’t done it? What are your excuses for saying no to yourself? JOYVIAL health coach MJ points out that energetically, you are telling yourself that you are not worth the time and effort. In some ways you lose credibility with yourself when you don’t follow through.

Think of just one small commitment you can make to yourself right now and put it in motion. Once you keep your first promise to yourself and see the effect on yourself as well as others, you will be motivated to follow through on other promises to yourself.

5. Give yourself grace – Grace is all about being okay with where you are. It allows you to acknowledge that you would have liked to manage a situation differently, but also see why you were not able to at the time. Grace is remembering that you are human with good intentions.

Having grace for yourself allows you to accept where you are in life. You have the ability to even celebrate where you are while seeing that your journey ahead is still so long. Embrace your journey and learn to be at peace with wherever you are.

Valentine’s Day is all about love so, don’t forget to practice self love.

Valentine’s Day brings up different emotions for different people depending if you are in a relationship or not and if you feel happy or lonely. But regardless of your relationship status, let’s talk about the most important relationship in your life, the one with yourself.

Are you as attentive to yourself as you would be to the love of your life? We make an effort to spend quality time with the ones we love, we listen to their needs and go out of our way to do things that bring them JOY. Do you feel you do the same for yourself?

In this blog, I will share why self-love must be your top priority and give you a few ideas on what you can do to show yourself that kind of care in your daily life.

Why you must start with yourself?

When traveling by air, I’m sure you’ve heard the flight attendant instructing us to ‘put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others’. Why is that? It’s logical in that instance, that without you getting oxygen to your brain, you’ll faint and therefore won’t be able to help anyone else around you. Can you see how this applies to your life in general?

If you are too focused on everyone around you (i.e., putting on oxygen masks for everyone else) but forgetting to take care of yourself, you’ll ultimately run out of air. You will be emotionally drained. You’ll find you are far less productive at work, and much more likely to snap at your kids or spouse when something goes wrong. Said another way:
In order for you to be at your best self, you have to start by taking care of yourself first.

What’s holding you back?
The one and only reason why it’s so hard for us to love ourselves is because we often believe that prioritizing our own needs, even if it’s just for an hour here and there, is selfish. The time we take for ourselves may mean that we don't take that time to do something for others, leading you to worry about others not caring as much about you anymore.

Our subconscious programs make us do anything to make others happy and therefore feel their love, even if your conscious mind knows that it’s unhealthy. For example, do you feel sad when your teenage daughter can’t say good morning to you and walks around grumpily? You just want to do something for her so she smiles again.

Would you feel guilty asking your friends to push back your dinner plans by an hour so you can make it to your favorite yoga class? No matter what situations create anxiety in your life, it always boils down to us wanting to feel loved. That desire to be valued by others often exceeds our desire to do something good for ourselves.

But don’t allow those voices in your head to stop you from loving yourself. Here are a few easy ways for you to learn to love yourself better.

How to love yourself
Each of us has different ways to practice self-care but in general there are a few guiding principles you can apply to set yourself up for success.

1. Understand your needs – first you want to know what gives you oxygen. For me, getting hugs from close friends and family fills my oxygen tank. Self-love, for me, also means moving my body a few times a week knowing that I’ll feel better afterwards. Also spending a little extra money on organic, nutritious produce falls into that self-love category for me. So, think about it. What do you need to feel rejuvenated?

2. Use kind speech for yourself – We have on average 60,000 thoughts per day with 80% of those being negative. The voice in your head tells you that you aren’t good enough seeing all the moments where you seem to fall short vs. focusing on those when you succeed. Health coach Lisa recommends that you listen to your mental chatter for a moment and ask yourself if you would ever talk to your best friend the way you are talking to yourself.

For example, when I messed something up, I used to tell myself that I was an idiot or dumb. I realize this language wasn’t supportive of me. So, when you are hard on yourself ask yourself what your best friend would say to you in that moment and rephrase your own hurtful words into words that are supportive and kind.

3. Practice self-compassion – There are many ways you can feel compassion for yourself. One is in the way you talk to yourself as shared above, but another is about small gestures that you know will nourish your soul.

When JOYVIAL health coach Liani feels stressed, she likes to put her right hand on her heart. She feels when she does that, she connects with her life source and it brings her back to the present moment, where peace is found.

I give myself hugs. Yes, you read that right. I take my right hand and wrap it around my left shoulder and take my left hand and wrap it around the right shoulder and then squeeze. This may look silly (I don’t actually do this in front of people) but it feels so nurturing for me.

What small gestures can you do to calm yourself down; like you would a child?

4. Keep your promises to yourself – Did you make commitments to yourself that you will ‘go to bed earlier,’ or ‘eat more nutritious foods’ or ‘try out this new yoga class’ but somehow you haven’t done it? What are your excuses for saying no to yourself? JOYVIAL health coach MJ points out that energetically, you are telling yourself that you are not worth the time and effort. In some ways you lose credibility with yourself when you don’t follow through.

Think of just one small commitment you can make to yourself right now and put it in motion. Once you keep your first promise to yourself and see the effect on yourself as well as others, you will be motivated to follow through on other promises to yourself.

5. Give yourself grace – Grace is all about being okay with where you are. It allows you to acknowledge that you would have liked to manage a situation differently, but also see why you were not able to at the time. Grace is remembering that you are human with good intentions.

Having grace for yourself allows you to accept where you are in life. You have the ability to even celebrate where you are while seeing that your journey ahead is still so long. Embrace your journey and learn to be at peace with wherever you are.

Valentine’s Day is all about love so, don’t forget to practice self love.


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a guest Submission from Daisy Jones, SafestBaby.org

1/21/2022

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​Starting a Business While Expecting a Baby: A Guide for Entrepreneurial Moms

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Photo Credit: Pexels.com
Starting your own business allows you to escape the constraints of a traditional nine-to-five job and enjoy added flexibility in terms of your location and schedule. This can be especially valuable for parents, giving them the opportunities they need to spend more quality time with their children. If you're preparing to start a business and also have a baby on the way, you have a lot to prepare.
 
OptiMom Coaching provides the resources and support you need to proceed with confidence. Read on for a quick-start guide for entrepreneurial moms.
 
Strategically plan your business in advance
 
A successful business requires detailed planning. Research your prospective product and service offering beforehand to ensure strong demand. Then, sketch out the details of your company in a business plan. The City of Atlanta in Georgia provides tools to help you draft this document. In addition to offering a practical guideline to how your business is run, you can use a business plan to secure funding to get the money you need for startup expenses.
 
Create a comfortable space that meets your professional and personal needs
 
A home-based business is an ideal pick for a new parent, allowing you to spend time at home caring for your child while still working. Set up the ideal space to accommodate your baby and your business by creating a combination nursery and office space. If your current home is too small to accommodate your growing family, consider upgrading. You can find Atlanta rentals on Rent.com, filtering to find options that meet your needs.
 
Set up the administrative elements of your business before the baby arrives
 
Formally registering your business as an official legal entity with your state offers many advantages, from streamlining tax filing to protecting your personal liability. State regulations for business formation vary, so check your area's legislation before proceeding. In Georgia, you'll need to file the Articles of Incorporation. A business formation service like ZenBusiness makes it easy and spares you the expense of a pricey attorney.
 
Stock up on the gear you'll need to care for a baby while running a business
 
Get the gear you'll need for your baby and your business before your little one arrives. For your home office, you'll need a desk, chair, computer, and printer. For your baby, this list of must-have items covers the basics, from nursing goods to clothing. You'll also want some comfortable clothes that you can wear while working and caring for your infant. Kindred Bravely provides a range of options, from cozy leggings to nursing bras.
 
Tap into a support network to connect with entrepreneurs like yourself
 
Juggling parenthood and entrepreneurship can be daunting. Get the emotional and practical support you need through local networks. There are many groups available for new parents to compare resources and notes. You can also find networks specifically for entrepreneurs, like the Georgia Microenterprise Network. This is also a great way to make valuable connections in your field.
 
Tap into technology to simplify your business and private lives
 
Technology can make life easier for entrepreneurs in many ways. Popular tools range from Trello for project management to Canva for content creation. Modern gadgets can also be handy for parents. For instance, a smart assistant can be used to do mundane tasks like turning the lights on, checking the weather, and playing music. When you have your hands full with a baby, this is a big convenience.
 
Starting a business when you have a baby on the way requires attention to many details. The tips above can help guide you through the process, ensuring a successful start to parenthood and entrepreneurship.
 
Want more inspiring content for parents? Check out the OptiMom Coaching blog.
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'tis the Season

12/12/2021

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My hope is that your season is sprinkled with indicators the Life you desire has begun to take form. 

Please notice what's working well and how it lines up with what you want. If there is a gap and you need support to cross that divide, please reach out. Through the end of the 2021, use coupon code 2021GIFT to save 25% on coaching sessions. 
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Grateful TO and FOR You!

11/25/2021

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Without you, I couldn't continue to do this work. THANK YOU for choosing to support YOUR health and well-being. Healthier momma's, healthier humanity!
​Onward!
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Some Healthy Holiday Perspective

11/14/2021

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Consider watching a second time and pausing to think about and answer some of the questions being asked. 
​Happy Holidays!
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Scary Places Once Upon A Time

10/30/2021

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As a client and I recently navigated her "world", she noticed an "area" that needs some weeding and cleaning up; an area that has shame and guilt, resent and regret. In her session summary (written and emailed the day following a session), I captured the following story from my own "area" that needed some tending to.
 
Once upon a time, about 25 years ago, I was given a “personal excellence check list” from a coach to grow professionally. One aspect of the check list was to clean up regrets and resents. I waited to create and tackle that part of the assignment until I knew I had some time to recover from what I knew would be a painful experience.
 
Gratefully, I had a therapist at the time because after I compiled my list, I could barely walk and had kids coming home from school, practice to get to, dinner to make, etc. I called my therapist, and he guided me through a meditation that found a safe place to house the list until I had margin to revisit it again.
 
My safe place (in my imagination) was a forest like the Hundred Acre Wood from Winnie the Pooh. In the meditation, I found a hollow tree that I could place the list in and knew it wouldn’t be discovered by others. After we hung up, I put the list away in a secure and private space to come back to later. Over months, I revisited the list many times…cutting the pages into slips of paper to be addressed individually. That helped shrink the enormity of seeing and feeling it all together.
 
As I spent time with what I called my “shit list”, I sorted the slips of paper. Sometimes by era of my life, sometimes by people, area of pain, etc. I sat with the crap that had been thrown into that "area" of my self-map. I made amends with people I had hurt (unless I couldn't or it was healthiest not to connect), but either way, I received forgiveness. I forgave.

I let Grace and hope replace pain.
 
When I would choose to revisit the paperclipped bundle of paper, I would go through them and notice if there was still a “charge”, an emotional hook still “in me”. I would select the one that needed tending and take a step toward healing. Maybe that was writing a story about it, drawing a picture, saying a prayer or allowing the event to be spoken about to my therapist or safe person.
 
Little by little the slips of paper were thrown away or burned because they had lost their “charge”. They were dead and could be pulled from “my world” and simply be a part of the story, the history of what was once upon a time.
 
I’m NOT suggesting you go through this exercise; I am offering an idea of how you may decide to clean up a similar area in your "world" one day. 

Without the clean up, there were resources being used to keep those past parts "alive"; like weeds taking the water and nutrients from your garden that you're trying to grow healthy food in. Mind though, there is value in the shit list, as manure is a key ingredient for bearing good fruit.
 
In a story that Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes tells, there is a very sly Mr. Fox who leads a young woman to a “room of the dead” and this is, as she unpacks and offers insight to, a place we all have in us: what was and isn’t anymore.

We can give thanks for what was and trust that it serves our lives in some way. As it's cleaned up, mixed in as healthy fertilizer, it can actually give energy to healthy growth instead of taking from or remaining toxic parts of our lives.
​
Onward....to tend what is growing in and for us now.

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    Lisa Engle

    Widely known for her passion, dedication and commitment to supporting the expression of potential, Lisa is famous for inspiring patients toward health, especially mothers. With more than 3 decades of service in chiropractic, she easily communicates the value of wisdom within. Her experience has been used to create a safe, effective, and reflective coaching model for mothers without the judgement, comparison, and crippling overwhelm that often inhibits change  for families.
    ​To learn more about Lisa's work and contact her, please poke around the website.

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