Not too long ago, as a mom friend and I chatted about her daughter's behavior, we reflected on the fact that her daughter was behaving in ways the mom had modeled for YEARS. Now (with coaching and accepting personal responsibility for the desired changes she wants in her life) that mom has learned and practiced many new and healthier ways to cope with stress and challenge. HER experience has radically changed, her Peace increased, her effectiveness, efficiency and productivity all more satisfying, BUT the new behaviors hadn't yet been experienced enough by the now teenage daughter to also be learned and practiced as a way to live.
We concluded that the daughter will likely act from the "programmed" behaviors seen as a small child, especially when she is stressed. Though she WILL REMEMBER her mother's behaviors NOW...and will have the opportunity to also choose to learn healthier ways of engaging to experience HER ideal and optimal life.
Gratefully, the mom keeps the invitation open for daughter to "come play" and learn with her and little by little, the influence toward a healthier world, especially THEIR world, increases.
...it's not too late.